Porno on Planes? Ryanair Says Yes

A major international carrier now wants to allow pornography on its planes. You get three guess as to which carrier I’m talking about, and the first two don’t count. That’s right: Ryanair has somehow managed to reach a new low even for itself.

Apparently convinced that any publicity really is good publicity, Ryanair head-honcho Michael O’Leary has just this week unleashed a new scheme that makes its plan to remove two of its three restroom stalls on every plane seem downright reasonable by comparison. Whether it’s just another headline-snaring stunt (in which case, he wins) or a true proposal is still unclear, but the UK’s Sun reports that Ryanair’s planned in-flight pay-TV service would provide passengers with the ability to screen porno clips.

Cue the skeevy music.

“Hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn’t we?” says O’Leary. (Hmmm, let me count the ways!) O’Leary goes on to say that viewing would be exclusive to handheld devices and not seat-back viewing, so that makes it all handy-dandy, right?

Adult videos at 30,000 feet raise many questions. Here are six that come immediately to mind for me:

• How might this affect fellow passengers, among them children, sitting just a few inches away?
• Will these porno-viewing patrons be required to wear headphones to keep the audio to themselves?
• Will there be X-rated sections on the plane? (And will you have to pay extra to sit there? Or to notsit there?)
• If Ryanair goes ahead with its plan to remove bathrooms, will the one remaining private area on the plane end up being even more occupied than expected?
• Would you try this service—or voluntarily sit next to someone partaking of it?
• Are people really so desperate for porn that they can’t wait a few hours until they’re back on solid ground?

In the end, all companies are in business to make money. But pornos on planes? Really? This time, I think, Ryanair’s endless quest to bolster its bottom line has crossed another line entirely.