Notice: Function WP_Block_Type_Registry::register was called incorrectly. Block type "core/gallery" is already registered. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 5.0.0.) in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-includes/functions.php on line 5835

Notice: Undefined index: viator_tour in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/10up-gutenberg-migration/includes/SmarterTravel/Gutenberg/ShortcakeTranslator.php on line 70

Notice: Constant WP_CACHE already defined in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-config.php on line 137

Notice: Function WP_Scripts::localize was called incorrectly. The $l10n parameter must be an array. To pass arbitrary data to scripts, use the wp_add_inline_script() function instead. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 5.7.0.) in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-includes/functions.php on line 5835

Notice: Trying to access array offset on value of type null in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/themes/smarter-travel/app/core/Locations/Types.php on line 166

Notice: Function WP_Scripts::localize was called incorrectly. The $l10n parameter must be an array. To pass arbitrary data to scripts, use the wp_add_inline_script() function instead. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 5.7.0.) in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-includes/functions.php on line 5835
Holiday Travel — with a Side of Guilt

The world is huge

Don't miss any of it

Travel news, itineraries, and inspiration delivered straight to your inbox.

By proceeding, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

X

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 5 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 6 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 98

Notice: Undefined index: pass_through_args in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 158

Notice: Undefined index: wrapper in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 159

Holiday Travel — with a Side of Guilt


Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 5 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 6 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 98

Notice: Undefined index: pass_through_args in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 158

Notice: Undefined index: wrapper in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 159

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 5 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 6 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 98

Notice: Undefined index: pass_through_args in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 158

Notice: Undefined index: wrapper in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 159

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 5 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 6 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 98

Notice: Undefined index: pass_through_args in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 158

Notice: Undefined index: wrapper in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 159

It’s an argument that can be all too familiar this time of year: Where should you spend the holidays? Whether your husband’s parents want you to trek cross country to be with them for Thanksgiving or you’d rather skip Christmas with the grandkids and take a Caribbean cruise instead, holiday travel decisions can be fraught with anxiety — and a side helping of guilt.

Christopher, who didn’t want his last name used for fear of upsetting his in-laws, says that he and his wife have been dealing with onerous holiday expectations for their entire 19-year marriage. “It’s burned any joy of the holiday season right out of me,” he says.

Although the couple has tried to come up with a compromise — one year they’d pony up for expensive cross-country flights, the next year they’d stay home and celebrate alone — her family isn’t buying it, he says. And forget about taking a vacation with just the two of them during the holiday season. One year when they tried to make excuses, he says, the family decided, without asking, to come to their house instead.

“We have not been able to get to a point with her family where we have been able to break away to do stuff on our own,” he says. “Their point of view around Christmas is that they are going to steamroll you. You either hop on or you get crushed.”

Sometimes the guilt doesn’t come from your family; it’s self-inflicted. This year, I was going to go on a Christmas markets cruise through Europe with my husband over the holidays. When I told my parents about the plan, their silence spoke more than recriminations. I ended up moving the cruise to earlier in December — and inviting my dad.

Emily Harley-Reid threw off her own parental guilt one Thanksgiving and went to Machu Picchu, leaving her husband and son behind. “They LOVED having a guys’ weekend,” she said. (She did bring her mother on the adventure.)

Harley-Reid says that she has tried to get friends to break their own shackles and go in on a T-day mountain or beach rental. So far, she’s had no takers. “I just want to spend a few days bonding and relaxing with dear friends and immediate family instead of driving 1,100 miles in two days, often through snow and ice,” she says. “Everyone turns down the idea because of the massive guilt trips.”

Has guilt ever influenced your holiday travel plans?

— written by Chris Gray Faust

We hand-pick everything we recommend and select items through testing and reviews. Some products are sent to us free of charge with no incentive to offer a favorable review. We offer our unbiased opinions and do not accept compensation to review products. All items are in stock and prices are accurate at the time of publication. If you buy something through our links, we may earn a commission.

Top Fares From


Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 5 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 6 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 92

Notice: Undefined offset: 4 in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 98

Notice: Undefined index: pass_through_args in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 158

Notice: Undefined index: wrapper in /nas/content/live/stagingstmllc/wp-content/plugins/smartertravel-shared/includes/ads/includes/api.php on line 159